Over the next two weeks we will complete our desire mapping using the Outcome Frame, and hopefully the tools offered have begun to guide you to a more clear path of what it is precisely you desire for many areas of your life.
We began building a clear description of what you desire, then we moved on to the motivating factor you are holding for wanting that desire. From there we gave measurable markers to those with more abstract desires, so that when they do arrive in your life, you will be able to fully recognize them.
Today we are going to turn our focus from clarifying our desires to focusing on unveiling what it is that has been keeping us from aligning ourselves with those desires, and ultimately, experiencing them.
Question five of the Outcome Frame is: “Who (if anyone) might be affected (positively or negatively) when this desire is fulfilled?” Or, it could also be asked as: “What’s the consequence to you and all the other people who are close to you, when this desire is fulfilled?” And, we would want to also consider asking, “What is the terrible thing that might happen if those fears come true?”
As I exited the Chicago airport, returning from my hiking trip out West, the Universe whispered to my soul that I was to move. Because I have learned to follow that gut instinct, I immediately began to answer the logical questions of how I could logistically do that, and how I would financially survive. What I also had to recognize was question five, “Who might be affected by this desire?” Because, if there was something within me that felt like it could not be reconciled, then I knew my desire would never reach fruition.
I had to acknowledge that my nephew, who I adore, was just turning two, and I wanted to be the kind of Aunt that would be around to watch him grow. I had to consider that my family might be affected, and how their reactions might impact me. I had to then sit with these concerns, and ask myself how I could relinquish these roadblocks within my desired alignment, to make it safe for my mind to continue to actively pursue my desire. I had to create an income marker that would allow me to fly, when I chose, back and forth to see him. I also had to weigh if that was going to be enough, for both him, and me, to feel alright with allowing this change. I had to think about my dog pack; some of whom I have been walking for years. I have people who count on me, not only for daily walking of their dogs, but boarding and vacation care. I was required to go through my life and hash out all of these potential resistances, I would internally be creating, that would subconsciously stall my internal gut instinct, or calling, that I had heard.
This brings us to question six of the Outcome Frame: “What stops you from experiencing (your desire) now?” Mind you, this is a separate question from question five. Often our roadblocks are not about others, but rather about our own fears. To be blunt, likely your first answer to this question is an excuse that you have created in your mind to justify your hesitation. I’m not saying that is a good or bad thing, but simply something to acknowledge. Before you jump into any judgment about yourself regarding this, I would prefer you ask yourself what your mind was protecting you from by putting up this roadblock. Often people want to view this as self-sabotage, but I prefer to see this as self-preservation. Your mind is reflecting on the history of your life, and ensuring that you are setting yourself up for survival. What is means is – If you survived a rotten relationship in the past, then your mind is seeking a rotten relationship in your future, because it is familiar to it, and something it knows it can survive. Well, you might be asking yourself, how can I stop this kind of pattern? And the answer is: You already have started to break it, by beginning to shed awareness on it! The work you’ve been doing over this past month, by utilizing the tools offered through these articles, is certainly a step in the right direction.
So, “Who might be affected?” And, “What stops you from experiencing this now?” These questions will likely require more vulnerability within yourself; but, I assure you, they are absolutely necessary in order to more fully align with your desires. Next week we will wrap up the Outcome Frame.