Alright ladies, here is my question for you—If the person of your dreams rang your door bell, right this moment, would you be ready for them?  This is a pretty multi-faceted question, so let’s break it down.

I’m not just talking about is your house clean, or are you wearing lipstick, though these certainly fall in the mix, right?  Your life is a reflection of your energy; so if you’re feeling stagnant in your life, that is the very same energy you’ll be introducing to another, and it’s going to either be a part of what draws a person in, or doesn’t. It’s essential that we are taking the time we need for our own self-care, and to breathe joy into all the aspects of our life that light us up.  If we weren’t doing that, then what would it be we were genuinely offering to this dream partner? And, how would we ever be able to welcome in who they are, and have the openness within ourselves to learn about them?  If there is no time for you to get a hair cut, or go sit in the park with a book, or take your dog for a long walk, or take a cooking class, or do yoga with your girlfriends- then who would this dream person be meeting? What kind of relationship would you be welcoming them into? And, of course, we each want to be fully responsible for meeting our own needs, as that is not something we’d ever want to task out to another.

Let’s scroll back through the pages of your last relationship.  No matter the feelings you still do, or don’t, hold for your ex, there are valuable lessons hidden in the ashes.  Set aside blame, extract your ex’s part, and pull out a microscope to examine your own words, actions, and inactions.  Did you ignore your instincts? Were you direct in your communication and needs?  Perhaps you implored passive aggressive tactics?  Maybe you emotionally left the relationship long before you physically left it?  Did you invest time in listening?  Were you tending to your own needs? Do you feel you know what a healthy relationship is, and possess the polished tools to have one?  There are many questions we can ask ourselves to further investigate what we want, and might still need to gather, for ourselves to be aligned to our dream relationship.  Honestly, I think the doorbell only rings when we are in this space.  The space where we are loving ourselves, and strong in our life stance.  At least the healthy relationships seem to be born out of this space.

What about physically?  Know your way around the grocery snack row a little too easily?  Able to name the latest Ben and Jerry’s flavors?  I think it can be harder when you are single to find this discipline within yourself.  It certainly was for me.  Rough days, where you’re assuming you’ll never meet Mr. Right, may have left the whisper of ‘I’ll start that tomorrow’ on your lips for many days, or months, or years. But, it’s hard to feel sexy when we’re not actively working to be our most fit, or skimping on tending to our needs. Tending to our femininity always seems to help us maintain our internal feelings of vivaciousness.  Ultimately, it’s about your life, overall, and how you want to feel; how you view and present yourself, and what you want or desire for your life; not just the dream romance.  To be clear, of course, any person who is truly looking to know you, is going to be able to see you as beautiful no matter your appearance.  However, the energy you need to hold in yourself, that has you feeling sexy and strong, is what they are expecting you to bring to the table.  This is not about being a certain dress size; it’s about feeling beautiful in your skin to wear that little black dress. If you just whispered to yourself, ‘but I don’t feel beautiful,’ then it’s going to require some soul searching on your part to find out what does bring those feelings forth in you.  We are all responsible for creating acceptance within ourselves. Our partner’s only responsibility is to enjoy and embrace what we’ve uncovered.

You all know that I’m a believer in alignment.  And I hold absolute trust in life; that when things are meant to unfold, they will.  As I sit here listening to an incredible piece of music that was sent to me as a love note by the guy of my dreams, I just smile.  It’s possible.  Focus on loving you, and building the life of your dreams; so that when the doorbell rings, that’s who they’ll meet.

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