b651cb78-7432-4410-939f-8129094fc218I did it!  I adopted a second dog.  Her name is Permilia (Per-meal-yuh), and she’s a six pound Chihuahua.  It has proven to be quite an adjustment in my home for not only me, but my dog Benson as well, and all of the pack dogs that I care for. Six pounds…..huge changes!

I believe that all of the Transformational Coaching that I have been learning, and receiving, this past year is what allowed me to make this desire a reality.

I’ve been taught that a majority of the beliefs we form happen from womb to three years old.  And then there is that little word – confabulation.  Confabulation, per Google, “is a memory disturbance, defined as the production of fabricated, distorted, or misinterpreted memories of oneself, or the world, without the conscious intention to deceive.”  Key words here are: ‘without the conscious intention to deceive.’  Truth is, it’s not about the facts of the situation; it’s about the meanings we make from them that define our beliefs. That’s why family members can struggle to agree about an incident that occurred in their past, because all were filtering the events through their own unique belief lenses that were shaped years before.

So, how do you start to investigate these beliefs?  I’d like you to think of an area in your life where you feel stuck.  Where you would like to make a change, and don’t? Or, perhaps you feel there are no options.  There is something in your current beliefs that you are holding so valuable that the need to protect it outweighs the desire for change.  This belief is stabilizing your present state, as we like to say. With Transformational Coaching, once you are able to rewire your beliefs, the changes you want will naturally start to take shape.  I know, because I am witnessing it firsthand.

So, do you have in mind your stuck state?  I want you to ask yourself: What might someone have to believe to have this stuck state?  For example:  let’s say you feel stuck in a job you dislike but you can’t seem to apply for any new positions.  Something someone might have to believe is that others won’t want to hire them, or perhaps that others will not see their true potential.  What’s a second thing someone might have to believe in order to have this stuck state? Ask yourself this a few times, uncovering more each time.  Try not to judge the thoughts as they come to you; simply acknowledge how you are allowing yourself access to those deeper parts of yourself, and thank yourself for this.  I’d encourage you to write out your answers as they come to you.

Most likely, there was one belief that stung a bit as it passed through you.  If you are not sure, look over your written responses, and see if one of them feels more charged that the others.

I want you to focus on the charged response, and ask yourself:  what does someone have to believe about others to have this experience (the charged response)? So, if the charged belief is that no one will see their true potential, then perhaps the belief about others may be that they don’t seem to look on them with fairness, or they seem to dismiss them and their value. Take a deep breath.  Next, ask yourself:  what does someone have to believe about the world to have this experience? So, again, if the charged belief is that no one sees their true potential, then perhaps the belief that someone would have to hold is that there are more talented people than them, or that the world is too busy to even notice them.  Finally, I want you to ask yourself:  what might someone have to believe about themselves to be having this experience?  Perhaps they would have to believe that they were not special enough to stand out, or that they are not really being seen for who they are.  These are just sample answers; I encourage you to listen to your own inner knowing.

Whew!  Now, I’d like you to take a look at those last answers.  I’d like you to ask yourself what the relationship is between those beliefs and the stuck state you are experiencing.

I assure you, being guided through this series many times now, I have uncovered some very surprising beliefs that I have been holding.  And, by uncovering them, I was able to work with a Transformational Coach to reframe the meanings I was making about those beliefs in my life. I could then start to move more freely towards my desired life.   For me, change is a beautiful, sassy, six pound beauty. 

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