I was in the check out line at the grocery store when I heard a woman yelling.  My cashier was completely enthralled, unaware of what she was ringing up, staring at this woman’s every move.  On my way out of the store, I had to walk by the yelling woman, and I heard a few words of why she was there.  She was there to shame a man who worked there; whom, I’m guessing, she had a relationship with; because, it seems he was caught spending time with other women.

Can I just say, I wanted to walk up and give this woman a hug.  Not at all because I support what she was doing, but, because, in her not letting go, she publicly humiliated herself.  Ladies, I think it’s safe to say, that at some point in all of our lives, we have all been this yelling woman; just maybe not quite so public.  I’m guilty of Facebook posts which were clearly intended for my ex, to point out some character flaw or show how strongly I was moving on – at least that is what I told myself.

I have a dear friend, who is absolutely beautiful and brilliant.  She and this guy were casually dating and he ended it.  On our way home from the Costco she says, “Well, it’s his birthday tomorrow, so I’m thinking about sending him a message that says…”  We sat in the car for nearly an hour as I talked her off this ledge.

Now hear this:  You are worthy of the love you desire.  Right now.  As you are.  That’s what this all boils down to: not feeling worthy.  If you are chasing, that’s because you don’t believe you are worthy without proving something.  If you are begging, that’s because you don’t believe your dream love can happen to you, and so you are willing to settle.  If you are publicly shaming, that’s you trying to prove you are better than another person.  I’m a firm believer in – if I am considering their reaction, then it’s not really about me, it’s about them.  This means I’ve given my power to someone else to control how I feel.

I think of it like this – If you were trying to sign up for a yoga class, and you kept calling a studio and getting no response, would you not just try another facility?  So, why are we willing to walk away when it’s our money, but not when it’s our heart?  Clearly, we don’t actually value our money more than our own happiness without a diminished value calling our bluff.  My point – be okay with being you, warts and all.  When we question ourselves, and our value, we allow others to treat us with a diminished value.

The only thing you need to prove is to yourself; that you’re willing to listen to your own feelings.  When we push our emotions off onto another, or we bury them, we are denying ourselves the opportunity to actually heal and move on.  I know this first hand;  I did this following my divorce.  I buried emotions, not intentionally, but there was so much to process, I put some on the back burner.  It ate years off my life; all because I wasn’t willing to simply let it go. I thought I needed to process every facet in order to feel fully mended, but in fact, I was simply toiling away years, being hard on myself, and ultimately disconnecting from my life.  I am very fortunate that I have so much support, and that I’ve acquired some renowned tools to help put me back on my life’s path.

What would it mean about us if we just let it go?  I don’t mean we never take responsibility for ourselves, or evaluate our part in things.  I simply mean, what if we didn’t make our value tied to something exernal.  What if we could simply accept what is, not chase after it, but genuinely let it go?  When we fill ourselves with self-doubt, there is no room in us for new opportunities.  The only person worthy of chasing is ourselves.  Chasing down our deeper truths that can uncover what it is we seek for our lives.  Chasing down the dreams we aspire to.  Chasing down the love we want to celebrate within ourselves.  Chasing down expressions of our creativity.  Chasing down our generosity, gratitude, and compassion to filter our words and thoughts through as we interact with the world.  So motivated by what moves us forward that we don’t lose our value to chase down something we simply can’t let go of.

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