One of the most common themes, that is often the framework for a limiting belief, is the idea of not being good enough.  And, while we often equate this with youthful development, my experiences coaching have revealed that this belief can be difficult to release, no matter the age.

The one who over-shares in a job interview, or a new relationship, trying to prove they are worthy of investment.  The one who rattles off their achievements, in the hopes of being seen in a certain light.  Someone whose Facebook page looks like they live in a rainbow, because projecting happiness can’t tarnish or expose them.  A person who always says, ‘yes,’ because they feel otherwise they may suffer rejection.  Someone who chameleons into whomever they need to be, in any situation, because they hold a deeper belief that just being who they are is not enough. Someone who allows their dreams to sit on the backburner for any and every reason they can state. Someone who’s afraid to try because they might fail.  Someone who believes their story is who they are. Someone who tells themselves they will never meet their soulmate.  Someone who avoids social settings and friendships because they don’t feel they have much to contribute, or they’re too odd.  Someone who stays in an unhealthy situation because they feel hopeless or are unable to see a way forward.  Someone who relies solely on their physical prowess to engage with the world.  Someone who runs, or sabotages, when something good comes their way.  Someone who feels their weight and health are inevitable. If any of these examples sound familiar, congratulate yourself, because you are human.

In my coaching study we believe that there are five main birthrights that exist for every person:  The Birthright to Exist, the Birthright to Need, the Birthright to Be Separate and Still Belong (be different and still belong), the Birthright to Take Action, and the Birthright to Love and Be Loved.  I want you to recognize, when you read through these, if there were any that gave you a twitch in your chest, or a lump in your throat.  When we hold the concept of ‘not good enough,’ we are saying we are not good enough for one, or more, of these birthrights.

But birthrights are not based on value; they are inherent.  All supreme gifts given to you for merely being born, and thus ‘good enough’ doesn’t even factor in.  Yet many of us, due to beliefs that are etched into our mindset, often limit embracing each of these birthrights fully, to live a more authentic life.  We’ve shunted our development, our experiences, and our future, when our internal beliefs hold us in the dark, unable to access the full power of each of these rights.

It is known that these birthrights often become impaired in childhood.  Now, that’s not to say every parent has done something specific to limit them, but it’s more about the meaning our mind makes of an event or situation, and how that meaning has shaped us forward.  A child, born ill, is put into an incubator, unable to be held by its mother.  To the newborn, this can become a marker of rejection, and ultimately impair their belief of their right to be loved.  Sounds crazy that it can go back to birth, but in my studies, we believe it can.  In reality, this child’s mother loved him, but the meaning his mind created is what shaped his reality.  We all do this, everyday, in every situation, and this is what will be the clue to revealing the impaired beliefs we each hold that keep us from fully embracing our birthrights.

So, an easy tool to become aware of these limiting beliefs that are impacting your birthrights:  First, I want you to go back through those birthrights, and in a private space, read them aloud to yourself.  I want you to read them one at a time and envision what they mean to you.  So, you would say, “I have the right to love and be loved.”  Then, you would envision where you allow yourself to love and be loved in your life.  Notice if you feel any tension in your body, and if so, try to pinpoint where in your body specifically that tension is.  For now, I want you to see if you can simply sit with that tension for a moment, that resistance, or struggle.  Just feel it in you, and see if any memories or thoughts pop into your mind.  They may seem ludicrous, or lucid, or made up, and that’s perfectly alright.  These are your clues to begin your internal investigation.

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