Interesting word, isn’t it? Resolution. When we break it down to re –solution, it becomes even more curious. I was thinking about this the other day. As a Health Coach and Transformational Coach, I am very aware of people setting New Year’s resolutions to help get their lives and weight, back on track.
My thought was, when we solve a math problem it is solved; there is no re-solving it. So, why do we need re-solutions to our life? Clearly the tactics we’ve already tried weren’t the solution, or we wouldn’t still be seeking one. So, how do we get to the true solutions to end our continued set-backs?
According to Google, the two main definitions for resolution are: “a firm decision to do or not do something,” and “the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter.” Hmm, I really like these, and I see how they are both necessary. “A firm decision to do or not do something;” how’s that for putting the ball back in our court? It’s an incredibly empowering definition; beautifully succinct. And, once we do make that decision to do, or not to do, something, we inevitably take the action “of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter.”
If I were to ask you: what are three things you could do right now to start improving your life? My guess is, you know three things, but yet, you aren’t doing them. Why is that? I’ve published many articles on the power our beliefs hold in shaping our lives. I assure you, your beliefs are what make you decide if you will or won’t do something, and, until those are reshaped, you will need re-solutions over and over again.
Beliefs are what we believe to be true about ourselves, others, and the world. The majority of our beliefs were created between the ages of birth to three years old. To a child, it is intolerable to not understand the rules of belonging, and thus we create beliefs to give us safety, and a sense of clarity, even if they are a misinterpretation of the facts and ultimately limit our lives. An example: A young child, whose mother remarried, was adopted by her step-father. She felt as though she didn’t fit in and was not as loved or accepted as her other siblings. She explained that once she married and moved from her parents’ home, is when her parents invested in buying new things for her siblings. For her, she saw this as confirmation that they loved her less. Now, let’s reframe this; perhaps her parents were simply able to buy these new things for the siblings because they were no longer solely financing her. Perhaps it had nothing to do with how much they loved her? This client built her whole life’s story, and corresponding relationships, around this belief that she was the unwanted black sheep. In fact, she portrayed the black sheep for years; thus, in her mind holding onto belonging in her family, and allowing that fogged childhood belief to bring her solace.
As a Transformational Coach, there are numerous exercises we use to guide clients to help reveal these types of belief, and thus rewire them to allow the client to reach for their desires; foregoing the old patterns that slow their progress. This is where the real solutions lie, in the reshaping of our childhood mind.
Over the year we’ve discussed ways to go about recognizing patterns in your life to see if you can start to unravel your own held beliefs. This is a wonderful way to start the rewiring process. If you ask yourself, ‘what do I desire for my life;” all of the ‘buts,’ ‘cant’s,’ and ‘if only’s,’ are wrapped with beliefs. I want a new job, but….. (insert belief.) I could meet the man/woman of my dreams, if only….. (insert belief.) I would try this thing I desire, except, I can’t..… (insert belief.) And then there is the paradigm: How you do one thing, is how you do everything. Try this exercise out, and I’ll bet you will see at least one belief and be able to see a pattern reflecting that belief in your life.
As the new year is upon us, hold gratitude for all you do to protect and love yourself each day; finding belonging and acceptance. Hold yourself in the highest regard. The re-solution is the one where you dig a little deeper so that all of the solutions you desire can make their way into your life.
Wishing you a life of full presence in 2016, to celebrate all the majesty that lives within you.