I have a phrase that I often use in conversations with loved ones and clients, that I learned in my Transformational Coaching program.  The phrase is: My most resourced self.  It simply means that the actions and reactions coming through me are happening from a place within me that feels grounded, wise, and confident – or fully resourced with my acquired learnings, on the path to my desired self.

If you have ever taken a step back from a situation, allowed yourself space before making a decision, or took time to gather your thoughts, or to ease your emotions; you have met your most resourced self.  At times, the emotions that come before these wisdoms can feel like a swirling snow fall.  Each of us has our own way of regrouping or soothing ourselves to settle the stirring within us, to calm the flurry, and thus allow us to breathe more fully and make the choices, or take the actions, that we are ultimately proud of.  When we are coming from this resourced place within ourselves to make decisions, take action, or express our needs and desires, it is also much more likely that our expressions will be better received.

Admittedly, for years of my life, I was a very reactive person.  Something happened, I felt the rush of emotions, and I immediately acted on them.  This reactivity is very common in our society; with the simplest awareness you can see it all around you.  This is our hefty minds at work, thinking we know what is best; how life should be; what’s right and what’s wrong; basically putting ourselves on a pedestal, shaming others, judging, and feeling like we hold Gandalf’s magic staff, and the right to swing it.  Unfortunately, what we are actually doing is acting out entirely from our ego.  The ego insists on being right, on being the best, on accolades and approval.  Whenever it feels threatened, we lash out, and often without a genuine thought of the consequences.

The big question is—do you know how to soothe yourself so that you can make choices from your most resourced self?  For myself, I find that if I’m not getting enough rest, I am personally more emotional, less rational, and the swirling of emotions seems to get to tidal wave levels.  Also, if I’m not allowed any time in my schedule to simply breathe, or do something that slows the overwhelm of my to-do list, then I tend to be more agitated to begin with. If I’ve had too much sugar, or caffeine, that can also make me irritable, and less grounded, or resourced.  If an old trigger, that I am still processing, gets activated, that too can make it harder for me to get my proper footing.

It’s funny, isn’t it?  The busier we are, the less we carve out personal time, or time for the things that make us truly happy.  Too busy at work for a few minutes of mid-day silliness with a loved one.  Too overwhelmed by the day, that the energy needed for an evening run seems impossible to muster.  Up so late with worry that all of our morning meditations get overshadowed by the snooze button.  I find that people also make poorer food choices when they are going through a stressful time, as grocery shopping and cooking go onto the back burner.  Water loses out to coffee, and thus the 3pm tired slump sets in, or phantom headaches and crankiness.  Simply put, when we do not keep what makes us happy as number one in our day, it only makes sense that our most resourced self will be harder to find and maintain.

Pay attention over the month, and see if you can bring awareness and attention to when you are feeling calm.  Note what you are doing, who you are with, how you are treating your body.  Also take notice of what makes you feel stirred, or overwhelmed, or agitated.  Our most resourced self is always available to us; it is simply a matter of whether we are able to ground ourselves within, to hear its wisdom.  When we act out of our most resourced self, we are aligned with our desires, and thus the choices we make farther us down that path towards living those desires.

0 replies

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *