Five years ago, I was between massage clients, sitting in the professional therapist break room at the school I was teaching for, and I was overcome with these flashes of myself.  These flashes were emotions, feelings, visions, and sensations about who I wanted to become in my life.  They were peaceful but very intense, and they brought tears to my eyes, as my understanding of how I wanted to get to that place became clear.  I immediately pulled out my phone and began to type my list, which I lovingly named, “That me.”

Since that day, I have been seeking ways to grow and develop myself to uphold the self-love that emanated so strongly from the ‘me’ that I had envisioned.  Allowing myself self-acceptance as I made my way toward these gems of life felt like a crucial first step.  What I certainly know from coaching is that we never find self-love through continuous self-shaming or abusive self-thoughts.  We recover our sense of self-love, if you will, by insisting on it in the darkest recesses of our being.  We shine the light far within, and accept what we see as a part of who we are.  That is not to say we cannot resolve or heal it, but we don’t belittle ourself for its existence.  

What’s curious is that as I read my ‘That me’ list, I can see that she is merely the best versions of the me I currently am.  I’m not reinventing my truth, just freeing myself from what keeps me from honoring it.  There are things I want to nurture, and things I dearly cherish, and often they are one in the same.  Can you look upon an area of yourself that you want to grow, and allow yourself to find acceptance for what currently is, even as you recognize how you want to meld and reshape it?  Your beauty does not reside in your hip size, right?  What if the mindset was from a loving stance of wanting to be a healthier version of yourself?

Don’t be fooled into diets, or quick fixes, just listen to your body.  You already know if your portions are too large and you’re eating beyond your satiation point.  You already know what foods make you feel great, and which bloat you, or causes you a mid-day energy crash, or feels too heavy as you lay down for bed.  There is nothing to put on your restricted food list.  Life is not about deprivation.  You also know that ice cream sundaes are not meant to be eaten every day.  Just be honest with yourself.  It’s not about self-control; if your mind is focused on growing what awakens and inspires your inner spirit, there is less energy spent mulling over what’s in the fridge.  

I currently have a coaching client who is preparing for either retirement or a career shift.  The client’s goal:  To feel like myself again.  Why did they come to me?  To help them rediscover what they love, and what they want to do next with their life.  Ah, what’s so beautiful about this, is I already know their incredible spirit holds all of the answers they seek.  My job, if you will, is to lead them back to themselves so that they can see that too.  The starter homework I gave this client was to honor their intuition in the most mundane choices this week.  Got a gut feeling to take a certain way to work; just follow that instinct.  Have the urge to go for a swim at the lake; make time to go.  Instincts that are not uprooting, not severe, but rather just re-engaging us with our selves again, while also encouraging our intuition to grow its voice within us.  

You do not need to reinvent the wheel to have your dream life, no matter how far it seems from where you currently are.  Being willing to love yourself outside of your comfort zone, that really is the key, in my opinion.  Trusting in life that you can make bold choices and get feedback to make your next choice with.  Understanding that you can grow yourself while loving who you are, simultaneously.  Knowing that I already am ‘That me’ when I stay grounded within myself and that my captured list of attributes is simply a celebration of what I already know of who I am.

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