Today we will wrap up my five-part series on the Outcome Frame. The Outcome Frame is a series of questions, used by many coaches, to get to the root of their client’s desires, while also uncovering the initial roadblocks to achieving them.
Over the past month we have been utilizing the Outcome Frame questions to give our desires more clear and concise language, so that they are no longer just in our mind’s eye, but start to have weight in our actual lives. We evaluated the motivating factors that were luring us to obtaining what we desire, and the emotions we were seeking with its arrival. We put more definitive markers on abstract desires, such as, “I want a healthier relationship,” so that when this desire arrives it can be recognized for all that it is. Last week we began finding our resistance to our desires. We broke down our hesitations by acknowledging any external conflicts, such as disappointing a family member when we make our desire to move across country a reality. We began to investigate what was stopping us from having our desire right this moment, pinpointing our internal fears and hesitations.
Today we are going to conclude by utilizing all that we have uncovered over this journey, and by doing so, hopefully create momentum through awareness, so that we can more fully align to what we are seeking for our lives.
Question seven: “What (if anything) might you have to let go of in order to fulfill this desire?” Perhaps we have to leave a relationship, or a job? Perhaps we have to let go of our fear of family disapproval? Perhaps we have to let go of our fear that the world is innately a negative place? Perhaps we have to let go of the distrust we have within ourselves? Perhaps we have to let go of the idea that we don’t deserve what we desire? Perhaps we have to let go of control? What I would suggest, is to sit with this question, write out your initial answers, and then revisit it again in a few days. This can be a very revealing and intense question, based on what you uncover, and you’ll need to be able to allow these ideas in if you really want to move forward towards your desires. These are all potential roadblocks, consciously and subconsciously, and they will stir excuses, and adverse emotions, and logic within you, to serve as protection.
The final question of the Outcome Frame is” “When you have to let go of (fill in your answer from question seven), what would you be embracing or believing instead?” This is the realignment. It is asking of you to expand your menu of life options to see how you can justify choosing what you desire and aligning your life to it. Often, when people feel stuck, it is because they don’t feel like they have any options that would improve their situation. A huge part of what we do as coaches is leading our clients to discover and allow an expanded menu of choices that get the client back in motion, towards their desires. Often, these expanded menu options prove much more pleasurable for the client than the menu options they were clinging to that were holding them stuck.
If I reflect on my answer from last week, regarding moving West, I might answer this question: When I let go of the belief that my family will be disappointed if I move across country, I can embrace the belief that my living out West would offer them a unique place to visit. When I let go of my belief that my family will be disappointed if I move across country, I can embrace that this move would be a reflection of my financial, and career growth, that would allow me to comfortably afford to travel to spend time with them at my choosing. When I let go of the belief that I am obligated to my client’s here in Chicago, I can embrace the belief that I have served them with my highest and greatest good, and there are likely new clients that have been awaiting my arrival in a new location.
This question is about finding Balanced Presence; that flexibility within ourselves that allows our life to unfold, and ebb and flow with changes and challenges, that ultimately lead us to what we desire for our lives.
For all of you brave souls that embarked on this five-week quest; taking yourselves through the Outcome Frame, to consciously choose your desires, and your life aligned to them, I offer my heartfelt congratulations and gratitude.